Welcome to the Blue Ridge Championship Wrestling in Big Sandy Mush! Oh yeah, I bet you thought it was over, that these guys packed away their speedos and wrestlin' one-sies just cause the winter weather came!?! Hell NO! These guys (and a surprise gal) came back with vengeance, to acrobatically, dramatically, and fantastically fight once again for the championship belt. You know, who wouldn't wanna come wrestle in the middle of nowhere at an abandoned school--- count me in!I arrived fashionably late as always and missed the beginning of the first round where some smaller guys from South Carolina were getting boo'd off the ring from the strangely mixed crowd. The crowd was not only the die hard kids, guys, & old men who are familiar to me now, but I swear a mini bus load of hippies & hipsters had been dropped off this time too - and they were intoxicated, which meant more DANCING, yelling, jumping, laughing, fun.
I was particularly smitten with the big wrestler from Waynesville NC, because he was wearing the most awesome 'all in one' "USA" red white and blue outfit! He also beat the poor tiny guy from South Carolina... in fact their size difference made it nearly unfair. Moving right along to the next round were some guys I am now familiar with - the Hillbilly & TNT...
Even though the crowd was wild and plenty amazing tricks were being done, I got the feeling the wrestlers themselves were sluggish due to big Thanksgiving meals and lazy holiday-ness was creeping into their souls. Their match went on and on, and ended in a 'draw' in which the announcer said "We have two winners, not two losers!" :)
Then something totally new and shocking happened! A .... girl.... came out with the current Champion.... the crowd went bananas....
She was taking no prisoners, she wasn't there to be sweet - she was there to scream, yell, distract, support her honey and strut her stuff...she was the perfect authentic wrestling ho, to flank the readily boo'd evil Champion. One old man in the crowd started yelling at her "Go Home YOu JeZebel!!!!"
With Jezebel at his side, the Champion beat out the opponent with no problem...
This costume below completely got my attention, he wore an "Army" shirt on the front but the back side of his shiny spandex finished the story... it looked like maybe he wrote "KILLER" on there with freakin' white out! Now that is scary stuff. Only true pysco's write on their outfits with shit like spray paint or white out or puffy paint.
KILLER and the whole gang all jumped in the ring at once because the last match was the winner will be the last crazy guy in the ring - and you had to be thrown over the top rope by any of the opponents in order to lose the round! It's a sight to behold when all the tight pant winners and all the loose pants losers are throwing each other out the ring left and right... I basically didn't know WTF was going on till there was only two left.
When you have a Jezebel hottie by your side, you are bound to hold onto the Chamionship belt... all my favorites, all the good guys, all the tiny guys, all the funny guys got thrown over the rope. Evil takes all again!
After it ended I sat in my metal folding chair and watched the men take apart the traveling stage (layers of canvas, padding and wood). I was pretty excited because I was asked by the head guy to be the "Official Blue Ridge Championship Photographer" and was wishing I could accept such an honor. Cause how cool is that? Not sure my health would really permit, but I sure as hec will make an effort. I was also contemplating why the group of Hippies and Hipsters thought that they should be the only ones to get the free wrestling posters being signed by the wrestlers and left the rest of us in the dust! Lame! Can't they share on their commune, and let us have one too!!! ;)
HA! In the words of AC/DC "aAAAHHhhhhhh A, THUNDER!"Bye Ya'll!!!!
XoXoxoxooooo
