Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Losing my Faith

It is not often that I use my blog as my personal forum to have a rant about things going on, in or around my life. But, excuse me today while I step upon my soapbox. I planned to reveal my secret project yesterday, but when I came home, I was deflated. I felt like an old balloon, that was just barely floating above the floor, the ribbon tail all twisted up beneath it.

Why was I so deflated you ask? Well, I had my wallet stolen out of my handbag at school. Which was in a locked equipment cupboard in my room, but since so many people come and go and do not always remember to lock the door behind them on my personal belongings, someone else saw this as their opportunity.

They must have been very determined, because my current bag of choice at the moment, is a gorgeous Lucky bag that my parents gave me and it is a giant bucket bag and very very Mary Poppins-ish deep, and that was all zipped up and twisted into another bag, so someone really worked hard to get my wallet out.

They walked away with my wallet, about £20 and my bank cards, which thankfully have now been cancelled and had not been used. But, more than the £20 or the pieces of plastic or my favourite green and polka dotted Cath Kidston wallet, bought for me by Mr. Michie, they walked away with my faith in humanity.

I am a girl raised in the South, I was raised by very compassionate parents, with extremely gracious manners. I always make a point of saying "hello" to people I see as I go about my day. I smile. I work my hardest to help people out, I give them respect, it doesn't matter what others think of you, until you do something to upset me, you have a clean slate in my cupboard. Which is not what was shown to me yesterday.

Today as people came in and out, I watched them like a hawk, I questioned them in my head. I again questioned the turn of events yesterday. I am not an attention seeker, but I did feel it wise to make this known to others, since culprits like to boast, something might be heard through the grapevine.

I was hurt, that after sending out an "All Staff" e-mail, to make people aware, some gave me their sincere apologies, while others who spoke to me just shrugged, because they are complacent and so I am expected to be as well. Well, I refuse to be, a little of my faith in humanity was robbed from me yesterday afternoon and I will not be complacent about that. I will fight to get that back, with every bone in my body.

For, I believe there is good, more good than evil, I will walk in to school tomorrow, I will hide my hurt and I will carry on, a little wiser, a little older and I will continue to seek out the good in people, because surely it is there to be had.