(Note: The following post is not intended for kids, cause I am gonna go off about how this thing really smells! If you haven't told your children about the other 'birds and bees' yet, don't let this be the first sex ed lesson they have...)Walking in the woods this week has been a mushroom explosion - tons of rain, cool nights dipping into the 60's and soon 50's...and rains from last year created a wet environment perfect for spawning off more variety of mushrooms then I have ever seen. Or smelled.
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Yeah, that's right... while exploring the rainbow of fungi bursting from the forest floor I suddenly smelled something. Something almost familiar, but kinda sick too....... I looked around suspiciously, including at the person I was hiking with - then decided to announce the problem... "Something smells like cum! Do you smell it?!!" After getting a definitive "no", I looked around and said "maybe there is one of those trees here, you know, the cum trees?" Another look around and a "no".... I was just standing there inhaling over and over trying to figure it out.
About 10 feet from where we had been standing, there was this mushroom... I didn't have my camera on me and had to come back the next day to take the photos. When we originally found the funguy, it was stiff, erect and stinking... i put my face down by it and it stained the inside of my nose with a horrid smell, that was nothing short of cum on a dirty dick, on a man sleeping in a dumpster in a pile of sugar. I looked the creepy mushroom up online, and they politely say the smell is terrible, like "rotten meat" - I think that is code for man meat.
Of course, when i went back today to take pictures of this magnificent specimen, it was flaccid. but the manly smell was no less. I did notice though another 15 feet away a rotten dead animal smell....
could there be more stinky poop fingers??
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FYI: This type of mushroom is known as a "stink horn" and this variety in particular also goes by the name "elegant dog stinkhorn". Read more about them & other American Mushrooms HERE.
Xoxoxoxo PEeeewww weee
