A Woods Walk (much tiny beauty)

Since I have been sick the whole month of june (with suspected parasites from my pond, still waiting for test results to come back) .... i haven't been able to really walk much in the forest. I have been resting my body alot. The anti parasite herbal remedies i took made me half better, so today i went for a walk to see what the forest floor would behold. Cause if you look real close, there is always something going on - no matter how tiny the patch of ground you choose.
I found wild red bee balm, and mannnnnny mushrooms pushing their way up from the dirt...
Mushrooms hold some kind of magic, and no i don't mean the hallucinating and poisoning your enemy kind.... i mean, the way they always look like something in a fairy tale. Always manage to be beautiful, mysterious, and a sign of nature at it's best.
I saw alot of these tiny white flowers, which hang like bells or rain drops... or a saddness that is stunning in it's beauty.

I always get supremely excited when i see these mushrooms that look like underwater coral! I love when sea and land are so similar.
Tiny red wildflower.... growing near the red bee balm, but is not bee balm. Just a disguise.
XoxOXOX

Backing Away From Society

Before I ever had health problems, before I ever found myself submerged in nature unknowingly following a path into a reclusive life... long before the change really started I never was very good at "fitting in" to society's standards. Looking back it all seems like superficial steps, practice steps, maybe baby steps into the life I would inevitably later lead - choosing the wrong kind of clothes, choosing the wrong things to say at the wrong time, the wrong music, the wrong color lipstick, the wrong haircut, the wrong colored date for the school dance.

Society always seemed to have this thumb pressing down on the very nature of the human heart, and while pressing down hard it seemed there was a voice saying that unless I gave into the demands, commands and expectations I would get squished by the giant civilized thumb. If I obeyed the thumb it would let off the pressure (a forever promise), the message being that "fitting in" was all one could choose if they wanted to be "happy" in this life.

Problem was, I saw right through the facade of all the people who had heeded to the thumb. They were not happy either - that small bit of observation alone was enough to send me searching, even if was just for a darker shade of lipstick at the corner store. But when my health led me to a drastic change in plans (aka- WHat? You mean I am not going to be a famous artist with one kid married to another famous artist living in NYC?) I found a new freedom, a freedom only nature seemed to give me.

*

I was diagnosed with a rare & severe form of Celiac Sprue (autoimmune disease) around age 22. I have mentioned this before and I mention it again because it was the turning point that led me to the near utter rejection of all things connected to the outside world. Outside world being, modern civilized white picket fence, windex spraying, fine (gluten) dining, consumer monster society. This was a world I already had trouble having a toe in, much less a foot in the door. Once I got sick the not-so-hypoallergenic door was slammed shut, because there would be certain social activities (like going out to eat or enjoying holidays meals) I could never be a part of again, period, finis, over.

*

Nature though didn't care. Nature has no judgement or obligatory feelings. The forest celebrates everyday in the same way, and has no concern for it's kindness or cruelty. The butterflies, the crawling insects, the opossums don't go X-mas shopping, don't go on dates, grab a beer or go out to eat. They don't care if you can have babies, or if you have a real job. In fact, the more I look(ed) at the natural cycle of life, not manipulated by humans, the more life opened up and seemed to have a safe place for me after all. It was human society that had created a modern, domesticated, civilized world that I couldn't quite fit into... so I slowly, and sometimes reluctantly backed away from "normalcy", from the high expectations of a tribe I could not force myself to function in (for the sake of my health and the rest of me).

*

I really believed Janis Joplan when she said "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" because at my lowest points I felt the most free from the enormous thumb of society. The less I had the less I would fret, the less I was protective of, the less I had to defend or justify. At the same time, I learned that having nothing can also be a hardship which forced me to vacillate between hating modern life and using modern life in a manipulative way to get what I wanted.

*

What did and do I want?

To set myself up to not need society anymore.

*

It is not just a survivalist thing, or a rewild challenge, or even just an eco friendly way to live. It's a way to avoid the thumb of society and the people who individually make it a (ass)whole- the judgement that burns your back as you walk away from a scolding neighbor, or a cold stare from the people in suburbia who not only have gave into the thumb, but went ahead and shook hands with the big ogar.

*

But I dont mind being a threat to civilized & structured patterns. In fact, there is some kind of purpose and drive in ruffling up the straight line I was told to walk, a drive that reaches into my spirit in the purest form and says "keep going!"

I can say with all certainity, I am never turning back.

Not because I can't, but I don't want to. My back will stay facing the eyes of our harsh society in full protest to their robotic way of living. Even if sometimes I ask my very soul "WTF, why is THIS the path to choose? Why wasn't I just one of them?"

xoxoxo

Love/Hate: My Composting Toilet

I get alot of questions from readers, friends, and facebookers about my composting toilet system... which is really not an advanced system, but a fancy humanure toilet. Maybe you could even call it an indoor outhouse! There are lots of kinds of composting toilets, AKA bigger families might need a different system. This particular one is the right size for a boat, cabin, and RV that doesn't house alot of peeps (pun intended). If you still want this exact potty and have a full family be ready to dish out the toilet emptying chore schedule right away!
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Here is a lil' educational video (i even tried to use my education voice) I made this morning about what it's like to have one of these compoopster toilets, in reality. Not in a magazine or online looking all beautiful and clean- but with stains, skank and dank right out in the open.



Xoxoxoox

What Keeps You From Living A Sustainable Life?

I try piece by piece to make my life more in line with nature. But that sounds so cliche', and defining a sustainable lifestyle is not totally cut and dry. There are variations, nuances, and debates as to what a truly natural lifestyle is...

but by your own definition (which I'd love if you'd share too) what is the thing that most keeps you from being able to fully partake, live, and love a sustainable, earth aligned life?

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For me there are many more things I would like to do to be light footed on this planet. Not because I think the earth won't ever recover from our mistakes but because it feels right, it is something I can pass on to the people who will be born long after I die. Less pollution for their bodies, less disease for all living things. I can pass on cleaner water and fresher air.

*

Here is my list::::

• I would like to be off electricity, off grid (aka i want solar panels or a complete non electric set up).
• I would like to have classes on identifying all native plants in my area.
• I would like to learn to hunt for protein foods (aka, less grocery dependence).

Here is what keeps me from having accomplished these goals::::

• MONEY .... solar panels cost big bucks
• money.... no seems to teach this shit for free
• Money..... ditto from above

Tell me your lists and thoughts, what is your biggest obstacle? If it's money, tell me your second biggest too!

One Small Split For Womankind (and tiny people)

I wanna show ya'll all the logs I've been splitting this month (see pic above and below)! This does not count the ones I have already burned on the cold nights...
I have always considered myself a feminist, not a preachy one but a quiet one who doesn't talk about it. I rather live it. Am i saying it's easy for a tiny woman to split her own logs for winter heat... NO, I am saying you CAN do it, I CAN do it, and it's vastly rewarding to be able to take care of yourself without relying too much on the system. Or the man.
No offense guys. I wouldnt mind if a dude was taking turns choppin' these bitches with me... but the point is I am doing it myself and am capable.
*
Historical note:::
historically speaking men did these type of chores and women were home preparing & cooking food, taking care tons of kids, ect... I would like to say that I can now see from a back in history man's perspective why he'd be wanting a hot meal when he came home from busting his ass - splitting all these logs makes me want to come home to a warm meal too. One I dont' have to cook...
But presently speaking, I do all of it. YAY! This is one for the ladies AND small people!
xoxoxo

A Day (or two) In The Life

On October 5th I turned 33. Not a big deal really except that it marked a ten year anniversary of something that would change my life forever. This of course led me to think in slightly different terms then usual - basically that silly deep contemplative junk that comes up while I am doing something like shoveling donkey poop, i think: WOW Whoooo woulda thought I'd be doing what I am doing right now back when I was 23...!
This is why instead of doing a ten year soul review (cause it's not like I'm having a near death experience just a birthday), i thought I'd do a day in the life! This is actually a day and 1/2....
*
Pictured at the top is what happens every morning. I sleep with my cat toots every night and in the morning I wake up with her either snuggled under the covers by my belly, or on top the covers by my belly. Always keeping me warm. I tell her that she is a "fish in the ocean of love" while petting her head, she lays back and looks like she's swimming through an invisible ocean and smashes her face against my hands.
Now that it's cold, before doing ANYTHING I get my fire started... I get dressed, eat a lara bar and prepare to greet outside and feed all my animals!

JuJu the donkey and all the chickens get fed a little corn (the chickens also get food scraps), and JuJu gets her 'flakes' of hay (mixed grass hay, never gluten grain hay)...

While all my babies are eating and happy, I take the time to shovel all the donkey shit. Unlike many other areas of my life, I am quite maticulous about keeping the animals fenced area clean. She usually poops in the same place over and over as if she's potty trained but my daily shoveling sometimes throws her off (i think JuJu thinks i am saying it wasn't a good spot to poop in.)

Each day I take the bucket of donkey poop and dump it in the organic gardens I am building. If I have really good energy I keep going with mushy rained on & trampled top soil from the fenced in area too. I usually max out at ten buckets in a day, cause dat' shit is heavy!

On this particular day, while building up the garden JuJu the donkey also went into HEAT again! When donkeys go into heat they make this attractive face (pictured below), while making smacking, chewing and breathing sounds. Some drool can happen from time to time. Chewed food falling out. Tail up. Alot of pee'ing.

After I've taken care of everyone I sit down at the computer to check on emails, stalk ya'll on facebook, check on my store, and watch music videos. ;) I spend time at the computer throughout the day, especially while resting and cooking (i cook all three meals a day).

A RARE thing that happened on this day was I cleaned my house...

only cause after the cob project it was a dangerous (broken plate pieces) and scary (donkey poop cob dirt smeared all over) place.

The tempature also dropped so drastically at the high elevations inthe mountains here, I had to carry all my plants in one by one... gawd I love my plants. So much. Most of them are herbs i use for cooking everyday. I set them up on little round logs so they could reach the light of the window.

Since basil is seasonal and had already died, i took the old peaches I had collected from a neighbor's tree to plant in that pot in hope's that next year at least one of those seeds will sprout a new tree. :)

A daily thing now too is splitting all the logs I have here. This is the stack I did in one day...

Lately, my gravity fed water has been getting clogged with silt. Since the spring water has now been boxed in I can't see exactly why this is happening but there's a good chance some North Carolina crawfish are playing around in there...

I have to blow the pipe.

A neat trick I learned, instead of shoving a long wire up there to unclog it, if i put my hand over the pipe and blow air up into the pipe hard enough the clog come out and tons of water rushed out. Sometimes so fast it hits my face before I can pull back.

I try to walk in the woods everyday. Which isn't hard to do cause I am surrounded. I think it is when I feel most relaxed, most energetic, most healthy and happy.

For my birthday me and Bort took a small trip to Waynesville, NC to go to my favorite thrift store ever! We thrift scored big time, I even found a winter coat that's washable and almost matches my donkey. :)

Next door to the Second Blessings thrift store this little town actually feeds their homeless and poverty stricken everyday. It's pretty awesome. I always wanted to help there but my stupid auto-immune disease won't let me touch the food.

Me and Bort also stopped at the lake there, called Lake Junaluska. All the times I lived near that lake and I had never sat by it. It had quacking & laughing ducks and sparkles reflecting off the surface.

As pretty as it was, I could not wait to get back home to my own lil' pond, and the quiet of my cabin.

I read. Alot. Usually before I go to bed, or by the fire, when evening comes, or when I am sick of the internet during the day. I get used books online, from friends, or borrow from my local Spring Creek Volunteer Library.

Was my average day as exciting as you thought?
Is it as exciting as I thought it would be when I was 23?
*I imagine 23 year old Leslie sitting outside the All Natural store on Magazine St. in New Orleans. Her eyelids shimmer with pink glitter, her lipstick is red, and her head is shaved on the sides. She's eating the daily special which happens to be a vegan Jambalaya (her favorite), she has no idea what is going to happen in a week or two. She is a successful artist, she's young, educated, what could go wrong. Her Italian artist boyfriend gets up to go use the bathroom...
and 33 year old Leslie comes to the table and sits in his place.

She says "In ten years you will be a recluse living in the woods in the mountains near Asheville, NC. You will never have returned to New Olreans, even this deli will no longer exsist. In the Mountains you will be surrounded by animals you love and love you, in a cabin, in a place so remote it will shock people. You will buy only hypoallergenic toilet paper, cook all your meals, and use a toilet that composts poo. You will know how to identify trees by their bark and plants you can eat in the forest. You will never eat this Jambalaya again."

23 year old Leslie will frown hard about the Jambalaya, but smile a big grin about all the rest. She will say "That sounds really fucking cool."*

Bort, Bones and Acorns

There's things I like about walking in the woods, specific things that are hard to ever describe in any human words - it's something that only connects with your own soul or another soul standing there with you... a soul who might be looking too. Not everyone looks, at least not in the same way.
Not everyone sees everything there, which is why I have always loved to walk with another person, another set of eyes with me so that the discoveries double, the moments are shared, the rest of the world & my own problems disappear. I forget, just about everything.
Bort has been my closest nature friend for what seems like a lifetime but is a blink of a dinosaur eye in history, today we walked aimlessly but began collecting things. First I thought I would collect some small trees for a Barnyard project...
but then Bort saw the bones.
He found a skull, some teeth, some claws, the jaw bones... we tried guessing the skull was of something like a raccoon, we tried guessing who mighta' ate it since there was also a cracked snail shell there, and animal tracks & trails. Bort mentioned an owl eating while dropping things high up in the trees, i wondered about what was the biggest animal an owl could eat.
Then I found the spine bones up a few feet...

I sometimes think if i had snacks (aka enough food) I could spend forever in the woods. Then again... I suppose I do.

In the same area we found the BIGGEST most magnificent acorns I have ever seen - so healthy, so plump and perfect. Hardly a rotten one. A neighbor later drove up as we came down the hill with our bag full of acorns, and said that lots of acorns meant a harsh winter. I can only hope this year i have worked as hard as a squirrel to be prepared.

(BTW- we plan to dry and cook these acorns! read more about it HERE.)

OUR COLLECTION(S) ::::::

I would like to use the tiny bones to make decorations for my baskets or jewelry. And to be in awe of how pretty they are.

The acorns, will be for food (upcoming post soon!).

Xoxoxo

(Not) Trespassing: The Blue Shack

Decay doesn't have to take 100 years, sometimes just in your own life span humans can build things, and watch their tiny personal empire fall to pieces. There's always a hidden story, a mini drama, a loss, forgotten time or sometimes a death these places hold onto... but for the blue shack not very much longer.

Ya might notice there isn't any No Trespassing signs on this property, and that is because it is for sale - under $100,000 with 13 acres! ( If you want to know where it's located in Western North Carolina, send me an email.)

The house is caving in. Literally. Porch posts leaning into a V shape, if you step on the covered porch floor boards your foot will go through it. Windows are broken, wood is bending, pieces of the roof are falling off.... yet it still holds it's bright blue spirit, you can still read some of the dreams that were afloat when it was built.

The back of the house pushes up to a rather steep hill, which is probably why the blue paint has washed off, the wall is pushing outward under the weight of the roof.... even a piece of the whole back wall has opened up and a freakin' lawn chair is poking out! Somehow that is creepy.

Peeking into the windows, I didn't find much on the inside of the house --- the usual anticipation to see something beautiful in it's last run of decay was not really even there...

Unless you feel a toilet seat is beautiful....

The ceiling is peeling off in sheets, which shows the rafters.... the rafters are the only thing about the structure that still looks stable. "Stable" being used real loosely.

Since there was 13 more acres of mystery to explore, I set off up the long winding road that led back up the side of the mountain. Plants & wildlife abound...

EDIBLE, MEDICINAL, and NATIVE PLANTS :::::::::

The Fiddle Head Fern... Edible when it first shoots up in the spring.Raspberries!!! Mmmmmm - the berries will pop out those hairy shells....

Blackberries ..... about to be ripe!

Woodland Nettles and Jewelweed growing in patches together.... ( so if the nettles sting you, you can put the jewelweed on your skin to sooth it!)

Pokeberry.... not yet ready to use for dye, but the white flowers turn into dark purple berries. You can eat the young plant in the spring, but not the berries or the mature plant (although i have heard people debate this!)

Bloodroot! My favorite native plant eva' ! The root is used for dye and medicine.

Mountain Mint?? Some kind of minty, menthol, bee balm smelling herb that grows in the woods here....

More HUMAN STUFF :::::::

In places along the road there was old fencing, from when this land was most likely a pasture with some type of domesticated animal... I have heard stories from locals about how their parents or grandparents made pasture by digging around & cutting roots of trees then having them pulled by mules out the ground. That's a shit ton of work!
There was also a small hidden barn, with wide open slats --- it was totally covered in thorny wild roses making it impossible for me to go inside or get near it!

In a lil' nook I saw this cinder block built contraption, that upon closer examination I realized was an old spring water box....

I would not be drinking the water from this thing anymore- it was full of mud and I did not see water in it... either that spring has run dry or the box was old enough to have a leak down below.

ANIMAL EVIDENCE::::::

Even though there had been a big huge rain storm just last night, I still found a few bits of evidence left by the wildlife on that property.

First, coyote scat (poop) totally rained on so hard that most the poop part was gone and all that was left was the huge hair glob left from the little critters it had eaten.

Then a fresh deer track in the mud, it slid a little downward because of the steep part of the path...

right next to the deer track was a patch of jewelweed (see the pic below) that the tops of the plants were eaten off....

THE ROAD ENDS :::::::::

The long long long road ended at the top of a ridge, which behind the trees you could see lots of mountains.

On my way back down I stopped to take a pic with the rocks being exposed from the erosion along the road... I LOVE big funky rocks! ANd I loooooove (not) trespassing. :)

XOxoxoox